This is one of the clearest, most honest and thoughtful pieces I’ve read on this topic from any perspective.
I think what you eloquently reveal is that strident, dogmatic belief systems rarely (if ever) align neatly with individual human experience. That’s true if we’re talking about our broken two party political system, or we’re talking about fundamentalist religions, or dietary needs, or one-size fits all education systems, or in this case: a rigid philosophy on gender.
Human beings are heterogeneous in thousands of ways. Systems that try to hammer people into specific pegholes might work at the margins, but they have glaring problems.
Of course individuals should be allowed to disagree, but I’m wary of centralized authorities that seek to turn disagreement into a matter of law or systemic prejudicial action. I don’t even want central authorities to enforce my own preferences, because I recognize that such a power may one day be wielded capriciously against myself.
I don’t know how to deal with those problems, however.