I feel bad for you because it sounds like you've never been in a good relationship, and you're getting validated by everyone that good relationships are impossible myths.

Imagine if you had eaten at a dozen bad restaurants all in a row- maybe because you're not good at picking restaurants, or maybe because you're unlucky, or some combination - and you said "restaurant food is so terrible!"

Then everyone else who had similar restaurant experiences would pile on and agree with you and act like eating at restaurants is just a bad idea.

Anyone who has eaten at a good restaurant who speaks up would appear to be in denial.

I can see where you're coming from because I've been in terrible relationships and I know exactly what you're talking about, and the kind of contempt that's possible.

But it just means you haven't been in a good relationship, not that all hetero relationships are toxic.

I'd argue that most people in their 20s are terrible at finding healthy relationships. They wander into relationships for reasons that run counter to the prerequisite toolsets of any good relationship. You meet someone who lives in your zip code and has a nice face. Those factors are about as important to a relationship as someone's blood type. On top of that, you throw in the characteristics that most young people find interesting or attractive or endearing from the outset and you have to ask yourself, how many of those characteristics make for good long term, happy relationships? How many young people choose partners for their humility, generosity, empathy, perserverance or maturity?

If you're not choosing partners based on criteria that will help foster a healthy relationship, you should not be surprised when that relationship doesn't manifest.