Don’t wanna end up like this guy!

A Helpful Guide for Politicians During COVID

Nicolas Ceausescu rose to power and became president of Romania in 1965. Then, well: he screwed up.

Let’s for one second speak plainly with each other. You stay quiet, because I know you can’t tell the truth with any part of your body above the waist. I’ll do the talking. I know you hate listening to anyone but yourself, but this advice could be life-saving.

I also know you don’t know much about history or what happens to crappy politicians when people are fed up. If you did know anything about history, you probably wouldn’t be who you are, sitting where you are, doing what you like.

You’ve probably never heard of Ceausescu. If you did hear of him in passing, you probably thought he was some kind of fancy eastern European dessert, and in a morbid way you are not incorrect. But don’t pat yourself on the back just yet…

From Wikipedia:

his government very soon became severely totalitarian and was considered the most repressive in the Eastern Bloc at the time. His secret police, the Securitate, was responsible for mass surveillance as well as severe repression and human rights abuses within the country, and he suppressed and controlled the media and press, implementing methods that were among the harshest, most restrictive and brutal in the world. Economic mismanagement due to failed oil ventures during the 1970s led to skyrocketing foreign debts for Romania. In 1982, he exported much of the country’s agricultural and industrial production in an effort to repay them. The shortages that followed drastically lowered living standards, leading to heavy rationing of food, water, oil, heat, electricity, medicine and other necessities. His cult of personality experienced unprecedented elevation, followed by extensive nepotism and the intense deterioration of foreign relations, even with the Soviet Union.

Sounds pretty crazy, huh?

Well, strap in because it gets worse! Again, from Wikipedia:

As anti-government protesters demonstrated in Timișoara in December 1989, he perceived the demonstrations as a political threat and ordered military forces to open fire on 17 December, causing many deaths and injuries. The revelation that Ceaușescu was responsible resulted in a massive spread of rioting and civil unrest across the country.[4] The demonstrations, which reached Bucharest, became known as the Romanian Revolution — the only violent overthrow of a communist government in the turn of the Revolutions of 1989.[5] Ceaușescu and his wife Elena fled the capital in a helicopter, but they were captured by the military after the armed forces defected. After being tried and convicted of economic sabotage and genocide,[6] they were immediately executed by firing squad on 25 December[7]

Whoa!

Pretty cray! The best part(oh, I guess it’s probably the worst part for you, sorry!) is that they televised the execution!

But let me back up… let’s make a simple list (I know you’re not too bright) for you to check off, just for your own use.

Ceausescu had:
Secret Police
Mass Surveillance
Human Rights abuses/repression
Control of the media
Economic mismanagement
Lowered living standards thanks to shortages
An inability to recognize the difference between civil unrest and political threats
Anti-government demonstrations met with force
A helicopter
A military run by people who don’t care much for domestic authoritarianism

I don’t know how your list looks, but from my count, it seems like you probably have 7 or 8 of these already and you’re well on your way to achieving all 10.

The mistake you might avoid, which I did not mention, is to get on TV a month before your execution to wag your gross, rich face at your people and to tell them to get with your program. These people are getting pretty fed up with you. Don’t push your luck.